Here's Why I'm Single

You'd think it would be easy to find a date these days, wouldn't you? eHarmony, Match, Chemistry -- so many ways to find Mr. Right. They all advertise hundreds of thousands of available men! So why do they send ME all the goofballs? I guess there's the possibility that I somehow put out a "send me the squirrels" vibe in my profile, but seriously, I can't remember indicating that I wanted to hear from guys who can't even compose a sentence. And don't even get me started on their judgment when it comes to choosing a photo.

So I'll feature the best of the worst: actual profiles of single men sent to me by the two internet dating sites I belong to.

Got some of your own? Share them with the world.