. . . Or a date!

Got a new match from Plenty of Fish, the easy stepsister of online dating sites. His picture is too small to copy and paste here, but his headline is "NO! I don't have a job . . . Or a car!" To be fair, POF does ask if you have a car -- and if you can figure out why they ask that, more power to you. Hey, we live in Midwest. No car = no transpo = loser.

The 56-year-old non-working non-driver is actually retired, and says he thinks he may have retired too early because he now eats franks and beans. Says he's from the West Coast and was educated on the East Coast, but the killer quote from this bio is: "I just learned that the United States owns some islands. I want to go check them out." So I'm guessing that East Coast education wasn't at Harvard.